As a mother of multiples, you often feel like you are just transitioning from one meal to the next. If your kids are anything like mine, then you also feel they are always in a growth spurt so thoughts around food are constant. Preparing filling and nutritious meals that everyone enjoys, every single meal, and every single day can be stressful. And this seems to be a fact no matter the age BUT can be extra stressful during those tough toddler years where behavior challenges are elevated.
Some of the best advice that I have received regarding toddlers comes from really understanding the typical child development of toddlerhood. Toddlers are known to be curious, test boundaries, change their minds, express the ability to voice their decisions, be restless, and have big emotions as they are learning to process and understand their feelings. So find some solace that you may be experiencing just a normal part of development! This simple fact has really decreased my frustration and anxiety around mealtime as well as help me lead with more grace and understanding in those difficult toddler moments. Now for a little disclaimer – if you feel your toddler is expressing more serious picky eating behaviors then I highly recommend getting professional help as picky eating is different than toddler preferential eating. Another recommendation is to explore the website “Solid Starts” which has a lot of great resources and has a team of experts.
So as usual in my blog, let’s move on to the practical tips! Here are some of my top tips that have helped my kids and my sanity/mindset:
- Promote fun and NO pressure
Sometimes just changing how you communicate by decreasing any pressure and making mealtime fun can make all the difference. Examples like playing music, fun placemats and utensils, or making games like “how many peas can you fit on your fork” or “I spy something orange on your”. Try to avoid saying things like “just try it” and eliminate any pressure or expectations as ultimately it is up to you to present the meal BUT it is up to your toddler to eat it.
- Offer a variety of foods
One of the most helpful tips I received for this phase was to offer a variety of foods (x3-4 choices) where x1-2 choices you know your toddler will eat and x1-2 choices that are a “stretch”. This really helps your toddler warm-up and ease into the meal vs immediately refusing the entire meal. Then one day you may see your toddler choose meat or vegetables over those beloved fruit choices 😊
- Offer smaller portion sizes
Sometimes toddlers can just be overwhelmed with how busy/full their plate looks. You can try just presenting x1-3 bites instead, either one or a few choices of items. Again this may help your toddler warm-up to mealtime and you can present more food if the first few bites were accepted.
- Encourage food play/exploration
Yes momma this can mean creating a mess! So try to support the exploration and fun of eating as it is a good sign and can lead to tasting. You could even add statements like “I wonder if that carrot is crunchy or soft” to help promote this curiosity. Another great way to promote this exploration is by baking or cooking together as the pressure some toddlers may feel at the table is decreased by just simply changing locations (which you can carryover this concept for activities like picnics). Now I will admit cooking/baking with your toddler can be stressful so I try to do very simple meals and set very low expectations 😊
- Prioritize serving food your family enjoys and keep offering
This piece of advice is a little more for the long game as if you can get your toddler to enjoy foods that you/your family enjoy then this may decrease the mental load of meal prepping, grocery shopping, dinning out, etc. And remember your toddler may not try a bite of something new until it is presented multiple times. Don’t take food refusal as law but just as a flighting preference in that moment.
- Get your toddler to participate on their plate
Some of my favorite ideas are mini ramekin cups for dips or “sprinkles” (cheese, soy sauce, nutritional yeast, crushed nuts, etc), mini pitchers for pouring like sauces, kid friendly chopsticks, self-serve with serving spoons to their own plate, etc.
- Make food taste good!
This may follow the advice of serving the type of food your family enjoys but it is a total myth that kids like/prefer bland food. So add that extra seasoning, variety of colorful foods, and dips. For example, as adults we enjoy dips for raw vegetables so why would toddlers feel differently. And there are soooooo many ways to still make something like dips healthy. Overall, I try to focus on supporting my kids positive relationship with food, again think long game.
- Make sure hungry (and rested)
Most of the time poor meals in my household happen when my toddler is not hungry or too tired. This certainly means allowing enough time between meals (>2-3hrs) and decreasing snacks. I also like to remind myself (frequently) that kids will eat when they are hungry so trying to trust their hungry cues and drive.
- Role model, role model, role model
Role modeling curiosity and an appreciation of food is a great way to promote good toddler behavior. This can mean eating together, eating off their plate, letting them eat off of your plate, and trying new foods together.
- Change your mindset
It has been incredibly helpful for me to change my mindset on NOT what my toddler eats every single meal but zooming out on what is consumed each day or even each week. So if your toddler is eating something from each of the food groups each week then you are doing great momma!